Short Powerful Sentences & Humor

Stupid Fast by Geoff Herbach is a story told from a high school boy’s perspective about growing up with some difficult family situations and learning to make the best of things.  This is a story for 7th grade boys or older that is filled with humorous observations and downright honest experiences.  

One craft I noticed from page one is the use of short sentences.  One of the writing lessons I use with my 7th graders is how to use short sentences for emphasis.  This text is a model for just that.

Example from page 1:

Chapter 1

NOW

This could be a dark tale!

It’s not.

I don’t think so.

Maybe.

I can’t sleep.  It’s 1:03 a.m.  Almost September.  The weather is warm, even though it’s football season.  There’s this huge moon in the sky, but I can’t see it from the basement, where my bedroom is.  I saw it plenty.

Tonight.

Dark tale?  My dad did commit suicide. 

Not so dark?  I’m me.  I hop up and down.

Where to start?

Not in the ‘70s, when Jerri was a little girl.  Not ten years ago, when I was 

five and found Dad dead in the garage.  How about last Novemeber?

I should really be exhausted.  But I’m not.

I, Felton Reinstein, stand on my bed because I can’t sleep.

Go.

This first page really captures a reader’s attention and creates a bit of mystery.  It isn’t sweet or sugar coated.  Instead it is filled with straightforward facts.  We know the main character is a boy that lives in the basement.  We know what time of year it is and what happened to his dad.  We immediately want to read more to learn what happens and why this kid is writing in the middle of the night.  

This would be a great piece of model text to use with developing writers.

In addition to the use of short powerful sentences, Geoff Herbach parenthetical afterthoughts to add humor and additional information.  

Here’s an example Herbach using the craft to add humor.

Page 2:

My last name is Reinstein, which is not a fast name.  But last November, while I

was a sophomore, my voice finally dropped, and I grew all this hair on my legs 

(and other places) and then I got stupid fast.

Here’s an example of Herbach using the craft to provide readers with necessary information.

Page 157:

I spent most of the weekday mornings with Aleah too.  (Probably like two out of 

every three days, she’d stop practicing by the time I got to her house.)

I don’t excessively encourage the use of this strategy in the writing of young authors.  However, I do believe it has its place.  I think it certainly adds to the voice and personality of the character telling the story.  I also think it is a nice way to add information in the text without boring readers.

Take time to check out Stupid Fast and see how running or finding something to pour your heart and soul into can help you cope!

Herbach, Geoff.  Stupid Fast. Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, Inc., 2011. Print.