Short Powerful Sentences & Humor

Stupid Fast by Geoff Herbach is a story told from a high school boy’s perspective about growing up with some difficult family situations and learning to make the best of things.  This is a story for 7th grade boys or older that is filled with humorous observations and downright honest experiences.  

One craft I noticed from page one is the use of short sentences.  One of the writing lessons I use with my 7th graders is how to use short sentences for emphasis.  This text is a model for just that.

Example from page 1:

Chapter 1

NOW

This could be a dark tale!

It’s not.

I don’t think so.

Maybe.

I can’t sleep.  It’s 1:03 a.m.  Almost September.  The weather is warm, even though it’s football season.  There’s this huge moon in the sky, but I can’t see it from the basement, where my bedroom is.  I saw it plenty.

Tonight.

Dark tale?  My dad did commit suicide. 

Not so dark?  I’m me.  I hop up and down.

Where to start?

Not in the ‘70s, when Jerri was a little girl.  Not ten years ago, when I was 

five and found Dad dead in the garage.  How about last Novemeber?

I should really be exhausted.  But I’m not.

I, Felton Reinstein, stand on my bed because I can’t sleep.

Go.

This first page really captures a reader’s attention and creates a bit of mystery.  It isn’t sweet or sugar coated.  Instead it is filled with straightforward facts.  We know the main character is a boy that lives in the basement.  We know what time of year it is and what happened to his dad.  We immediately want to read more to learn what happens and why this kid is writing in the middle of the night.  

This would be a great piece of model text to use with developing writers.

In addition to the use of short powerful sentences, Geoff Herbach parenthetical afterthoughts to add humor and additional information.  

Here’s an example Herbach using the craft to add humor.

Page 2:

My last name is Reinstein, which is not a fast name.  But last November, while I

was a sophomore, my voice finally dropped, and I grew all this hair on my legs 

(and other places) and then I got stupid fast.

Here’s an example of Herbach using the craft to provide readers with necessary information.

Page 157:

I spent most of the weekday mornings with Aleah too.  (Probably like two out of 

every three days, she’d stop practicing by the time I got to her house.)

I don’t excessively encourage the use of this strategy in the writing of young authors.  However, I do believe it has its place.  I think it certainly adds to the voice and personality of the character telling the story.  I also think it is a nice way to add information in the text without boring readers.

Take time to check out Stupid Fast and see how running or finding something to pour your heart and soul into can help you cope!

Herbach, Geoff.  Stupid Fast. Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, Inc., 2011. Print.

Setting s'il vous plaît!

Many writers often struggle with setting.  A poorly identified setting can distract readers from the story.  However, a well-crafted setting can enhance the text and provide readers with a deeper connection to the story.  

Generating a setting that complements a story takes time and research.  It is important for writers to become as familiar as possible with the details of the setting prior to writing in order to naturally weave the details into the story.

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins is a cute and fun summer young adult novel that does just that.  It effectively weaves its Parisian setting from the first page to the last.

In addition to eferencing of a number of Parisian landmarks, there are also drops of French here and there.  This provides an opportunity for readers to feel like they are there without having to hop on plane and pay the $1500 airfare.  

Isn’t that what we want our young writers to do?  Include a setting in a story that is so solid it makes readers feel as though they are really there without ever leaving the comforts of their favorite reading locations.

The French language adds to the story without providing a distraction.  It is used to bring scenes to life without confusing readers.  Here’s an example from chapter ten that shows how smoothly Perkins includes French into the text without causing readers to skip a beat or lose meaning:

“St. Clair is just friendly.  The whole school likes him - the professeurs, the popular kids, the unpopular kids - and why wouldn’t they?”

This use of French also gives readers a bit of an idea what this experience is like for Anna since this is her first time in Paris, and she feels like an outsider.  Readers quickly learn how to navigate the text, just as Anna learns how to navigate her senior year at the School of America in Paris.  

Another common craft used these days to make young adult novels more realistic is the incorporation of emails or texts within a story.  Chapter twenty-eight is an entire conversation that takes place between the two main characters during Christmas break when they are thousands of miles apart.  This is an interesting technique to use when you want time to pass in a story, but you don’t want to leave readers hanging.

Be sure to check out Anna and the French Kiss for a Parisian experience that’s reasonably priced!

Perkins, Stephanie.  Anna and the French Kiss.  New York: Penguin Group, 2010. Print.

Realistically Personified Animals At Their Best

The Young Adult Book Club that I am part of recently read The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate.  This is a charming little story about a gorilla that lives in a glass cage at the Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade.  While this is a work of fiction, the story is based on a real gorilla named Ivan who spent twenty-seven years living in a cage at a shopping mall before being moved to a zoo in Atlanta, GA.

A number of discussions can be generated after reading this.  Some of the topics addressed include environmental issues, the treatment of animals, animals and humans supporting each other during difficult times, dying wishes, and the power people have to make a difference when they stand up for what they believe in.  I definitely think there is something in there for every reader.

This is a very quick read despite the fact that it looks much longer.  Even though there are 300 pages, Applegate has chosen to separate paragraphs by following each one with an extra space before beginning the next paragraph as opposed to using indents.  When you combine the extra spaces with a great deal of conversation, then there’s only about six paragraphs comprised of two or three sentences on each page.  This may provide young or reluctant readers an opportunity to gain some confidence since it appears as though they are reading something much more challenging from the outside.

A number of the pages are also enhanced with some cute little illustrations created by Patricia Castelao.  These definitely help bring the story to life.  

After our book club’s discussion, I got to thinking about the amount of personification Applegate uses to bring Ivan, a gorilla and also the main character, to life.  I had always thought personification meant giving human qualities to inanimate objects.  After doing some research, I learned it can also be applied to animals.  However, the more accurate term for giving human qualities to animals is anthropomorphism.  

The One and Only Ivan is filled with fabulous examples of anthropomorphism since the story is told from Ivan’s point of view.  Supporting characters include two elephants and a stray dog.  There are human characters as well including Ivan’s owner Mack, the mall’s custodian, and his daughter.  Each of them add their elements to this touching story.

Since school is out of session for the summer, and I don’t intend on making the 60 mile round trip dive, I will retype the textual examples instead of using the fancy copy machine. 

On pages 40-41, there are two short chapters that illustrate Ivan’s ability to experience feelings and share them just like a human would.

Page 40: three visitors

Three visitors are here: a woman, a boy, a girl.

I strut across my domain for them.  I dangle from my

tire swing,  I eat three banana peels in a row.

The boy spits at my window.  The girl throws a handful 

of pebbles.

Sometimes I’m glad the glass is there.

Page 41: my visitors return

After the show, the spit-pebble children come back.

I display my impressive teeth.  I splash in my filthy

pool.  I grunt and hoot.  I eat and eat and eat some more.

The children pound their pathetic chests.  They toss

more pebbles.

“Slimy chimps,” I mutter.  I throw a me-ball at them.

Sometimes I wish the glass were not there.

This should give you just a taste of what you’ll find from Ivan’s perspective.  I won’t waste any more of your time.  You’ll have to check it out yourself to learn what a me-ball is and how animal and human forces join together to make a difference in the lives of the animals held in captivity at the Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade.

Applegate, Katherine.  The One and Only Ivan.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, 2012.  Print.

A Tasty Tidbit on Characterization

Joan Bauer does it again!  If you’re ever looking for a great YA text that students can read as writers and learn about characterization then check out any of Joan Bauer’s books!  She does it again in her newest title Close to Famous with main character Foster Akilah McFee.  

Readers will fall in love with the realistic life of Foster including the ups and downs she faces living with a mother who is mistreated by her Elvis impersonator boyfriend, a father that died in the war, and the inability to read.  Her dream of becoming a host on the Food Network seems a bit of reach until she sweeps the tiny town of Culpepper off its feet with her amazing cupcake creations!

As a 7th grade language arts teacher, I am always trying to point of the various methods of characterization to my students and get them to realize that authors provide these clues for readers to infer a character’s traits and qualities.  The basic methods of characterization include: a character’s physical appearance; a character’s thoughts, speech, and actions; how other characters react to the main character; and comments provided by the narrator.  

What do you learn about Foster in this passage from Close to Famous?

There’s just the right mix of taglines and body language to get the point across without going overboard.  That’s another important observation for readers to notice when reading like a writer!  Until next time...happy reading through the eyes of a writer!

Bauer, Joan.  Close to Famous.  New York: Viking, 2011.  Print.

A Twist on Repetition

I know that sometimes when I set down to write on a topic I have a lot to say.  Too much at times.  My head swirls with anecdotes that prove my point.  I don’t want to overwhelm my reader, but I want to paint an accurate and diverse picture of what I see in my mind. Laurie Halse Anderson in Fever 1793 provides writers with one way to tackle this dilemma. 

Take a moment to read this short excerpt.  What struck you?

Anderson spent a lot of time researching this time period in history. By repeating the line, “They told of…”, she was able to insert brief stories to illustrate an accurate portrayal of the Yellow Fever epidemic: some positive and some not so positive.  I love how she juxtaposes…

They told of thieves who crept in and stole jewelry off the dead and dying.

with

They told of good people who refused to take any money for helping strangers, even thought they themselves were poor and near destitute.

The way that Anderson organized this piece really helps me as a reader to visualize the people of this time period and to infer that this was a traumatic time in our history.  But most of all, it told me a lot about the narrator, Mattie.   By saving the lines “No one told of stories of a painter’s assistant named Nathaniel or a cook named Eliza.  No one told of my mother.” until the end, it reminded me of what was really important to her. (You always save the best or most important point for last, right?) She was listening to these horrific stories that echoed the halls of Bush Hill longing to hear some news about the people so very dear to her.  Can you imagine knowing that at any moment you could overhear that your mother was dead or dying down the hall?

I’ve noticed authors using repetition before—in many different genres and for various purposes.  However, Anderson has allowed me to add a new trick to my bag, so to speak.   Introducing examples with a repetitive phrase will be added to my craft repertoire, and I hope I will see it in your writing too!

Anderson, Laurie Halse.  Fever 1793.  New York: Aladdin Paperbacks, 2000.  Print.